the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
