I wannas sexs uuuuu
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
