Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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