Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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