Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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