dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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