Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
