His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
