i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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