I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so much tequila, so little girl.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
