the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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