Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
