her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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