she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
