my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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