So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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