I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
