The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
