I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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