So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
