it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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