she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its not stalking. its research.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
