It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
