hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
