'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
