Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
