I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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