Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
