rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
