i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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