We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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