i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
