Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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