he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He did a backflip because drugs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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