i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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