One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
