smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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