Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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