I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
