I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
