come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
