my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
