Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
