Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
