i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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