I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
