mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
