Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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