turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
