i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
