So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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