Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
