I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
