yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
